I have tended to write more about growing food than cooking and eating it, which is a little odd considering the amount of time I devote to the latter compared to the former, but there you go. Zoe has asked me to expand upon ideas I expressed in response to her discussion of a talk she went to at ANU. Zoe is in the building where they theorise the food, which made me incredibly jealous when I read it. I study in the building (at a different university, in a different city) where they theorise the art, then kick on to a wine bar, or talk about which galleries get in good booze for openings. Which is not such a hard life either come to think of it.
I received a ‘joke’ email some months ago, from someone who doesn’t know me very well, which I have sadly deleted. ‘Sadly’ because I didn’t anticipate it being useful blog fodder, and now I will have to try to remember it rather than just copy and pasting. It was a series of comparisons between the “working mother” and “Margaret Fulton”, suggesting that romantic Fulton would cook all day, while the working mother in the real world would upend a can and frisbee it towards her children and husband in a mad rush. It really grated on my nerves, mostly because the writer had failed to notice that while Margaret Fulton was writing food books and appearing on television she was a “working mother”. I’m sure Fulton provided her own daughter with plenty of very quick meals over the years, just as most parents who work outside the home (and indeed, most who stay home fulltime) would. Fulton was set up as the “baddy” for having written about anything other than beans on toast, or combining pasta with something other than a jar. There are certainly problems with the way food writing, and food television, are presented, especially in relation to mid-week family food. That an anonymous emailer expected Margaret Fulton to carry the can for it upset me perhaps more than one should get upset about a minor slight on a person one has never met.
On a related note a friend recently reflected, while eating at my house, that she’d “like to have the headspace for cooking” the way I do. I didn’t think much of it at the time, but it bugged me later. The meal I’d cooked that she was remembering had been prepared while my toddler threw raw potatoes around the kitchen, climbed on our rather unsafe folding kitchen chairs, fiddled with the coffee machine (spreading grounds hither and yon) and tried to turn the oven on. “Headspace” is unfortunately not a concept I’ve attached to the active production of food in my house for some time now. My cooking is as rushed and slapdash as anyone elses because one eater* in my house loses his composure completely, and the will to eat at all, if dinner is late. Despite this we manage something other than cheese on toast most nights. Is it because I love food? Partly. Because I have brilliant domestic goddess-type skills? Yup, there’s a bit of that too. However, my friend loves good food, and knows how to cook, but generally she does not eat so well. Is it because my friend is single and childfree and cooking for one sucks? Yeah, it’s a factor, there are certainly tired evenings when my motivation to prepare vegetables is based more in being a Good Mother than doing what’s right by my own body, that said, when I lived alone I ate pretty well and enjoyed the quiet of cooking after a long day.
It’s only fair to mention that in my youth I spent several years working in catering, and was taught to manage multiple dishes, cleaning up & serving a large number of people in an environment where one was paid a flat rate. I had a seriously good incentive to get all the desserts out and the dishes done ahead of schedule and be off pub-wards before my four hours was up. In a similar vein, my friend is much quicker at de-boning chicken than I am because she worked in a poultry shop in high school. If I had fewer skills would I cook less, or cook a smaller variety of foods? Possibly. Is it just a matter of professional skill? No. My friend rarely de-bones chicken, even though she knows how. My Dad apparently knows how to butcher a lamb should the need arise, but I’ve never known him to do it. He has easier ways of getting a lamb dinner in adulthood (he married a woman who goes to the market & cooks it) and he doesn’t enjoy using the skill for it’s own sake.
In essence the email suggested Fulton had set the bar unreasonably high by assuming that food is important, when “we” all know that work and the rush rush rush at the end of the day means that food is merely fuel and we need the cheapest and quickest fuel there is. In this schema good food is for special occasions and ye olde stay at home mothers who have hours and hours of free time (yeah right). Good food is a luxury, something to put on the to-buy list after “nice house”, “television”, and “holiday in Queensland”. For my friend good food is about time, for looking for new recipes and considering possibles changes, for shopping, and for the actual preparation. All of that requires physical and mental energy that she just doesn’t feel she has anymore. So good food is for the holidays if you have an Important Job in your real life. For my Dad the formula is clear, (if you leave my Mum out of it for a minute) he works out how long jobs he doesn’t enjoy will take him to do and how much he can make working for that time, then compares it to how much the finished product costs to buy. Buying meat already butchered makes sense, in fact, buying the meat cooked and combined with veggies starts to look pretty sensible too. But he does cook every now and then, nothing terribly complex, even though he can afford not to, even though he is married to a retired lady who cooks, he cooks just because it is pleasurable. It’s a quiet time away from the desk, phone and computer, it’s beer-in-hand conversation time, it’s time to focus on what nourishes you.
So, why do some of us insist on cooking and eating well, even though cheap pre-prepared food is all around? Planning what we’ll do with our box of fruit and veg each week is generally a pleasurable experience for me, it’s a relaxing way to spend the evening after toddler bedtime, to wind down, to think only of what will go in the pot tomorrow. It’s a meditation of sorts, something to sit still and focus on, to still the mental chatter of work, mothering and all the other stuff. I’m inclined to put good food at the top of my to-do and to-buy lists. Living well is non-negotiable. I don’t see the point of the work and the rush rush without living and eating well as a reward. The rest, for me, is just noise.
Which leads to reading cookbooks in bed, which I think I will save for another day.
* Surely if a performance has an audience a cook has an eater-age? A consumer just sounds too commercial.

13 comments
Comments feed for this article
August 11, 2008 at 8:10 pm
Kel
nice post. I cook and eat well because its mostly healthier, tastes better, is fresher, is a creative pursuit, and usually it is cheaper.
i too read cookbooks in bed, and for the record in response to ‘joke email’ Ms Fulton from the 70′s era of cooking has some of the quickest and easiest recipes i know.
August 11, 2008 at 8:55 pm
Divya
I agree with you completely. i am a complete foodie and just can’t compromise with quality of my food. i like to cook my own food..cant trust outside food..
http://www.home-living-news.co.uk
August 11, 2008 at 9:05 pm
innercitygarden
I agree, the joke email was probably written by someone who’d glanced at a Fulton dinner party-type book once and never really read any more.
I also agree that home made, planned food, where the raw ingredients have been carefully purchased, is generally healthier and tastier and cheaper.
What fascinates me is that there are a sizeable number of people who:
a) can’t tell the difference, or indeed, prefer the taste of the package/takeaway/cafe
b) think that all cooking is difficult and time consuming
c) think it is boring drudgery (because I think you’ve got a fair bit of control over how boring it is)
d) think that paying more for the packet/cafe food experience as a regular more-than-once-a-week arrangement is a reasonable expense to incur to avoid cooking.
e) that I find myself feeling very judgemental of people who elect not to cook and therefore eat ‘junk’, but not nearly so negatively of people who make essentially the same decision except they eat in nice cafes or pubs or buy a lasagne from their local deli etc. It means that poor people get to eat bad food, suffer the health consequences and then listen to wealthier people telling them they should have cooked more at home.
August 11, 2008 at 10:00 pm
Ariane
I do think skill in cooking comes into it, mainly because of confidence. When I go into the kitchen, I am pretty confident that whatever comes out with me will be at the least, reasonably tasty. I don’t have to work too hard or think too hard to make that happen. Experience and a real love of food make much of the process second nature.
My other half has much less experience, and he finds cooking anything other than a few staples very daunting. He does need head space for it. I don’t. He cooks very regularly, but it is pretty repetitive.
And taste is definitely trained. Things I adored when I was younger, I can no longer stand (Coke for example). I think you can learn to love or hate processed food and other things. Certainly my appreciation for vegies has dramatically increased since I have put more effort into buying and cooking them properly over the last few years.
I guess cooking is like gardening, some people prefer astro turf…
August 11, 2008 at 10:15 pm
innercitygarden
Skill and experience do make it easier, but some people leave home determined to acquire those skills and others don’t, and in my very broad study of people I know well enough to enquire, I haven’t been able to work out why. Gender certainly plays a role, which explains the different skill levels men and women leave home with, but it doesn’t explain why people of the same gender, with roughly the same skill level, end up with very different approaches to cooking at home. My partner enjoys just as much as I do, he has the same knowledge of why it’s a good idea to cook at home and eat vegetables, but it doesn’t translate into reading Stephanie Alexander at home.
Perhaps it would if I didn’t cook so much? I must remember to ask him.
August 11, 2008 at 11:23 pm
Stomper Girl
I’m like Kel with the cooking and eating well because it’s mostly healthier, fresher, yummier, and cheaper. I don’t get any creative buzz from it though, and being the only cook night in night out at our house has taken a lot of the shine off for me. In fact I find it a bit of a drudge, to be honest. Having said that, I would still choose to cook and eat the way I do even if our finances improved. I would just have more nights off.
I lived on toast and 2-minute noodles at Uni but once I became responsible for the nutrition of other people, like my partner and especially my children, I only wanted to give them proper nourishing food. And when the kids are bigger I’ll be training them up to take on some of the load!
August 12, 2008 at 12:17 am
innercitygarden
Stomper my friend’s mother once told my mother she loved it when her husband was away for the weekend because she could just make toasted cheese sandwiches for dinner. Being responsible for someone else’s nutrition (or the perception of it in the case of cooking for a partner who isn’t horribly disabled) certainly plays a big role in the frequency and nutritional value of women’s home cooking. I assume that most people find cooking to be a bit of a drudge some of the time, or in some circumstances (like having ungrateful teenagers who turn up late when it’s all ruined, or toddlers who demand weetbix or housemates who… you get the idea) but then, so are most of the other jobs in the home and indeed most of the jobs outside of the home.
I recommend the delivery of a random box of seasonal fruit and vegetables for getting back the spark in the cooking relationship. Not sure if it’d do any good for people who’ve never enjoyed the cooking though. I find it removes the work of choosing ingredients, which frees up the headspace required for negotiating/adapting recipes. Now instead of looking at an enormous and (at the end of the day) overwhelming copy of Stephanie and wondering where to start, the choice of what to cook is narrowed for me. I still buy supplementary ingredients from the supermarket or market, but the basics have been taken care of without any effort from me and I find that very relaxing. It’s not cheap, but if we miss getting to the market and end up eating takeaways that isn’t cheap either.
August 12, 2008 at 9:03 pm
Gavin
Hi Kate, late into the converstation I know, but being a bloke who loves to cook with fresh ingredients, I simply see everyone else who don’t take the time to cook family meals the old fashioned way, as actually missing out on a very important part of their life! Cooking brings out my creative side, and is an expression of my being and I try and create new flavours and colours in every meal. I am no gourmet by any standard, but believe that fresh, wholesome ingredients make for great meals.
During my year long back injury, if I didn’t have cooking and gardening (and blogging of course), I think I would have gone barmey! My family have their favourites of course, but I like to come up with a suprise at least once a week! It keeps it interesting, and the food always tastes better if it is home made with love and is far more nutritious.
Gav
August 15, 2008 at 11:28 am
Cristy
Must just chime late here. I love your post. I have so many friends who do not cook – claim that they “cannot cook” and their decision to live on take-out and repetitive stir-fries every night completely baffles me. However, what bothers me more is when they mock me for being a “Sally homemaker” when I choose to cook. (This is particularly annoying since I used to cook even when I was 18 and they would always invite themselves over for dinner in order to avoid having to cook for themselves.)
Like so many of your other commenters, I genuinely enjoy cooking. I enjoy the creative process, I enjoying discovering new foods and flavours, and I particularly enjoying having full control over what goes into my body (and into my daughter’s too). In fact, for me one of the downsides of travel (in hotels, rather than places with kitchens) is that you are forced to eat out for every meal. Losing that creative outlet and control for too long can be quite unpleasant.
August 15, 2008 at 11:28 am
Cristy
chime “IN”… sorry.
August 15, 2008 at 11:55 pm
innercitygarden
I hadn’t thought to mention travel food. On some trips the eating out is a fabulous part of the adventure. Other trips I feel I’d be better off food-wise at home. Our last trip I was desperate for a decent coffe the whole weekend, and I just felt sad at the sight of our cooked breakfast arriving on crappy supermarket white “bread”.
September 29, 2008 at 11:00 am
Rebekka
“My partner enjoys just as much as I do, he has the same knowledge of why it’s a good idea to cook at home and eat vegetables, but it doesn’t translate into reading Stephanie Alexander at home.”
My partner does the majority of the cooking at our place, and is right down with the eating well/eating veg, but I’m still the one who reads Stephanie Alexander. In fact, I don’t think I’ve *ever* seen him follow a recipe, read a recipe or look at a recipe unless I’ve waved a magazine/cookbook/epicure at him saying “doesn’t this look delicious”. And even then he just looks at the picture.
It’s quite strange really, because he’s very literate. And reads two newspapers cover to cover each day.
Can I aks where you get your seasonal box delivered from?
September 29, 2008 at 11:02 am
Rebekka
Also, I can probably think of ten things to cook that take under 15 minutes and are therefore probably quicker than getting a takeaway. And about ten more that take under ten mins prep but a bit longer to cook.
It’s part lack of skills. Part laziness. Part some other thing where you don’t get that veggies aren’t just good for you, they’re also really tasty.