I don’t think there can possibly be many people watching Brining Up Baby on Thursday nights who sees that crazy scheduler and thinks “there’s a woman I’d like to emulate”. Because I see it and think “there’s a woman who hates babies and hates women”.
Then the Spock follower, who I thought was mostly ok turns out to hate on women who breastfeed in public, so you know, do what feels right in your parenting unless it means feeding your kid when they need it or co-sleeping.
And it turns out the big warning by the ABC at the beginning about some of the advice not conforming to SIDS recommendations and not being safe? Yeah they didn’t mean leaving a newborn unattended for hours on end.
The hardcore attachment lady doesn’t annoy me anywhere near as much as I expected, by the way. Possibly because she’s actually helpful and nice to the mothers, which helps me to ignore how her rules are as inflexible as anyone elses.
I keep waiting for one of the mothers to show her ‘mentor’ the door, but I fear they’re all too tired and shattered to get the words out.
So if you’re having a baby, feel free to tell anyone who bosses you around, who talks about following their plan or rules at the expense of everything else, who deliberately undermines your confidence in yourself and your relationship with your baby, to fuck off.

11 comments
Comments feed for this article
February 27, 2009 at 9:32 am
kel
lol.hear hear! my 14 yo daughter came thundering downstairs after watching this with an “OMG i hate that woman!” we had sat and watched with our mouths hanging open waiting ,just waiting, for those poor mothers to follow their instincts and just go get the kid/s! the mother of twins looked like a woman in a cage at the zoo.it was so sad. and we all had exactly the same reaction when the spocker said inflicting your breasts on the public!!!! the whole family roared!
February 27, 2009 at 11:47 am
froginthepond
You see, when I hear the phrase ‘inflicting your breasts on the public’ I have images of a mammoth Barbarella flinging her breasts about and knocking people unconscious.
Rather more fun than that program. How the ABC can feel that it is in anyway reponsible for a broadcaster to air the program beggars belief.
February 27, 2009 at 11:59 am
innercitygarden
As the Bloke said during the program, women like me go having babies just so that we can finally get our boobs out in public. Given that the kid breastfed pretty much all day and night for several months, I’m not really sure how I was supposed to avoid feeding him in public without being completely isolated. I wouldn’t have been able to go to appointments, or buy milk and bread, or join playgroup, or go for a walk further than the end of my street. It’s more “breast feeding is ideal, but we’ll make it almost impossible for it to work for you and then we’ll blame you for failing” crap.
In any ethical research subjects are informed that they are allowed to remove themselves from the trial at any time. These parents aren’t, and at least some of them are giving the impression that they didn’t really understand everything they were signing up for.
We were really hoping the Indian grandmother would give the loopy woman the slappin’ she deserved, but she didn’t. I’m still trying to work out how it’s ok for a strange lady who wants to leave your kid outside for hours unsupervised is a good person to leave them with while you go out for dinner, but having Grandma to visit is enough to have sirens going off.
February 27, 2009 at 1:49 pm
Emma @ The Berry Patch
This show is like a train wreck. You just can’t look away even though you know you should.
All three are so blinkered and rigid (no matter what they say) I can’t believe it. At least you can pat the crazy 50′s woman on the head and think “well she hasn’t had children, of course she may not understand why you would want to cuddle a baby”.
It scares me that some parents-to-be may be getting their imformation from this show.
Emma
February 27, 2009 at 3:43 pm
kris
The rigidity really got to me. The ‘debates’ between the experts doesn’t entail any actual listening to each other. I think the 70s woman is nice to the mothers but only, really because they are doing what they are told. They’re all kind of poisonous in that they don’t allow for the possibility that people – mothers – can’t do things by the book, which is literal in these cases. I think the premise of the show – woman don’t know and they need direction – is so fundamentally flawed I can’t quite believe I’m watching it. But I am.
I did wonder about the ethics of keeping people in this program. But I think the mother who is suffering the most – the woman with twins – is so obviously shattered, and undermined by her partner as well, that she’s lost all ability to articulate her needs.
The co-sleeping thing shat me no end, and I was pretty unimpressed by the Spock lady’s approach to co-sleeping: all those drunk and drugged parents diving into bed with the defenceless babies; I didn’t expect anything different from the crazy scheduler.
February 27, 2009 at 3:59 pm
innercitygarden
Oh but Kris, expecting fathers to understand safe co-sleeping guidelines and to stay off the booze & fags is just unreasonable! Or gosh, expecting parents to read all the available information on risks and benefits of the options and make a decision on their own!
I do wonder how the parents of twins will end up. I got the impression that when she signed up for the schedule she didn’t really understand how detached she would be asked to be, and he does seem so committed to The Book rather than supporting her that I want to reach into the telly and shake him. Like you say, I can’t believe I’m watching it. I figure these ‘mentors’ (read: bossy britches) do this fulltime and this show is recording it, but it’s not exactly a detached doco.
February 28, 2009 at 10:57 pm
shula
Loudly.
Wish someone had told me that 14 years ago.
March 1, 2009 at 2:36 pm
Stomper Girl
My friends have been discussing this show and the more I hear the more I think I couldn’t watch it. As my girlfriends said newborns are only newborns for a short window of time, why would you muck that time up for all concerned by saddling the whole exercise with hard and fast rules. Life is fluid. Parenting even more so.
March 6, 2009 at 10:01 pm
persiflage
I agree with your reactions. All those ‘experts’ are equally rigid, and quite creepy, and there is not a lot of listening done – just the rigid application of theory. The father of the twins is a real shocker. He would have been a nazi or a fascist!
I have just been watching a program by Robert Winston on the human survival instincts, and he starts by describing the baby’s main means of survival – crying. Baby screaming can equal a jackhammer! And here is this woman who is happy to let a baby scream for hours! Those poor little babies!
I suspect that by age three or four months all the babies will be behaving pretty much the same.
March 7, 2009 at 9:34 am
innercitygarden
I do like the interviews with older women, particularly the mother who raised her children in the 50s and reflects that if you weren’t following the rules, or your baby hadn’t read the rulebook, then you just lied. I love that she’s had the benefit of seeing her children reach adulthood and be perfectly fine, so she doesn’t mind fessing up that the rules were useless.
I think by the time the babies got to a few weeks old the father of the twins was loving them and talking to them a lot more than he was supposed to. He was also looking more comfortable with breaking the rules, which cheered me no end.
The mentors are quite rigid in their enforcement of some of the rules, but they have also ditched some of the major assumptions of their books: all of the families featured have started with the assumption that dads get involved, they change nappies and make bottles, they take babies for walks, they’ve taken time off work to be around for the first few weeks. They all contribute to the active raising of their children in ways that Truby King and Dr Spock never anticipated. Which is excellent.
March 8, 2009 at 9:06 pm
di
Indeed!!! I would find it quite amusing viewing (in a “what were they thinking?!” kind of way) were it not for the fact that I feel so sorry for so many of the participants! I agree the older parent’s interviews are enlightening and comforting.
Interestingly our own approach seemed to include a range of techniques from all of the theories- irreverant rule breakers that we seem to be in this day and age… Rules were made to be broken were they not?!